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Communicate about what you and your partner will do before you have sex to make sure that you’re both on the same page. Often, people think that sex is only putting a penis into a vagina, but that may not be the activity that brings the most pleasure to the two people.
A top player in the “non-penetrative sex” practices category with 80% of our survey-takers enjoying this practice, “frottage” is the act of rubbing your body parts against someone else’s body parts, often the genitals or other erogenous zones. Is it possible that someone could have an orgasm in this situation?
If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you are most likely having sex!
Remember: there doesn’t need to be an orgasm for it to be sex.
You and your partner should be comfortable with one another, and feel able to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to any part of the sex act.
How do same-sex couples have sex?
Common activities include:
- Oral sex
- Penetration or stimulation with fingers or sex toys
- Tribbing – the rubbing of the genitals together (some positions of this practice are known as scissoring)
- Mutual masturbation (meaning self-pleasure at the same time)
Sex means all types of things, just because these are common does not mean you have to be doing them to be having lesbian sex.
- Are terms like ‘baby’ comforting and sexy, or do they not feel right?
- Trans bodies are beautiful and diverse, each individual has things that work best for them. Spanking
50% of our lesbian sexperts do some spankings, and of all survey-takers who indicated being interested in kink, 58% enjoy spanking their partner and 62% enjoy getting spanked.
Touching, kissing, stroking…and all that fun stuff. Plus, it’s the only human organ that exists exclusively for pleasure! This is completely normal and ok. You can get started with this Lesbian Fisting 101 post, or trying out these five tips for aspirational fisters.
This post was originally written in 2015 based on survey data from 2015 and has been updated in March 2024.
In the media, it is often hypersexualised or positioned as something for straight men to consume. Other sex toy play
22% of our survey-takers use sex toys regularly during sex, and of those, 47% own four or more of them, 75% purchase them in stores and 64% have purchased sex toys online. Fisting (vaginal)
Finally we land here, with 18% of our survey-takers reporting regular fisting.
Talk to your partner before and during sex about what works for them and for you. Frottage/dry humping
Teenagers and lesbians: mastering the fine art of dry-humping since the dawn of time. Here’s some oral sex tips for first-timers.
4.
Having Sex as or with a Trans Person
Having sex with or as a trans person is just like just like sex with anyone else: communication is key!